literature

A New Beginning: Chapter 2

Deviation Actions

TheSkandranon's avatar
Published:
1.4K Views

Literature Text

Bleach Fanfic: ByaSana

She slept long into the next day since there was nothing to wake her prematurely. And as she woke up she was so comfortable she didn't want to move, but then she stiffened, and slowly opened her eyes. This place was too warm and comfortable, not to mention clean, for it to be where she went to sleep last night. As she looked around, she noticed that the room was bright with the sunlight that was coming through the thin shoji paper walls, but was otherwise bare except for the shiki futon she was laying on, and the zaisu chair next to it. But despite the bareness of the room, everything was very expensive and high quality. Meaning she wasn't in the Inuzuri district, but in the seireitei. She didn't belong here, how did she get here anyways? If she's caught here, who knows what they may do to her.

Despite being weak from her illness, she got out of the bed and started walking to the door so she could leave before she was caught, when it suddenly opened and a young man was standing there. She gasped and took a step backward and ended up falling to the ground she was so terrified. Not only had she been caught in the seireitei, but by a shinigami, he was wearing the black shihakusho that all the shinigami wore with his zanpakuto at his side. He looked down at her with his slate gray eyes and his ebony hair falling down beside his face and she just stared back at him, too terrified to do anything else, and in that terror she didn't see at first that he was holding something in his hands.
________________________________________________

From the look of it when he opened the door she was trying to leave. Her surroundings probably scared her when she woke up and his appearance probably more so, since he had just got off of duty and was still in his uniform. Not wanting to scare her even more he didn't move from the doorway for a while. Even though the chicken broth he was carrying would probably get cold.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" When she didn't respond to that he continued. "I found you last night in the Inuzuri district and brought you back here because you were very sick and needed help" She still didn't respond and he sighed lightly and stepped inside, but as he did so she gasped again and scooted back away from him some more. When he saw that he stopped, feeling very sorry that she was still scared of him. "I'm not going to hurt you, I promise. I brought you here so you're not going to be getting in trouble for being in the seireitei." From her expression it seemed that one sentence at least made it to her, she looked a little more surprised than scared now.

He smiled a little reassuringly at her and slowly started walking toward her.
________________________________________________

He brought her here? Even knowing that he could get into a lot of trouble for it? Why did he do that? When he started walking towards her again she didn't move, but was still scared. He placed a bowl of chicken broth next to her.

"Here, I know you're not feeling well so this should be good for you" He then smiled his small smile again, and she stared at the bowl for a while then looked back at him.
________________________________________________

He could tell that this is a little much for her so he decided to give her some space and stood up and slowly backed out of the room with a reassuring smile on his face then closed the door.
________________________________________________

After he left she looked at the bowl and decided that she really should drink it, he was right. She needed the fluids and nutrients that were in it so. She cupped the bowl in her hands and marveled at how clear and yellow the broth was, things just don't come like that in the Inuzuri district. She tipped it to her lips and sipped some; she was astonished at the taste. She'd never had anything like it before. Not only did it taste wonderful, but it just warmed her, from the inside out. She'd never had an experience like that with the food she'd received before. However, she didn't have the capacity to drink all of it. Her stomach wasn't that big right now.

She thought to herself, "Rukia would love this." With that thought she stiffened. She remembered how she had just deserted her own sister for herself and now look at her. She was in a shinigami's house where she would be in a lot of trouble if she was seen. A single tear ran down her face as she though of her sister.
________________________________________________

After a few hours, he returned to the room with a pale pink yukata with red roses embroidered into it that had belonged to his mother. It might be a bit large for her petite frame, but it'll do better than the rags she was wearing. He knocked on the bamboo part of the sliding separating the room so that she knew he was coming in then slid it open. When he came in he saw her kneeling beside the bed on the tatomi mats thinking. He looked at the bowl and noticed a good portion of it was gone. He smiled slightly even though it wasn't all the way gone. The amount may have been a little much for someone not used to it. Besides, he sensed she didn't have the amount of raitsu for her to actually get hungry, but with her being sick, food was good for her.

He held the yukata out to her. "Here, this should be better than what you are wearing."

She looked at it with a slightly horrified expression on her face. "I can't wear something like that." The first words she spoke in his presence. Not only was she beautiful, but her voice was light and very pleasant and it made him smile slightly despite her words.

"While you are in a house of nobility, you must at least look the part. After all, it is against regulations for you to be here. And we can also wash the things you have on now."

Her expression turned to astonishment and then whispered slightly, "Nobility?"

He then realized he hadn't introduce himself. "Yes, I'm sorry I forgot to mention my name. I am Byakuya Kuchiki, next in line to be the head of the Kuchiki family. And what is your name?"
________________________________________________

She just stared at him in shock. She never would have guessed that someone from one of the 4 noble families in the seireitei would have picked up someone from the 48th district, let alone that someone be her. From hearing snatches of conversations of others the nobles were, arrogant, self-centered, and cared for nothing but themselves. Why would someone like him take her to his home?

"Your name?" He asked again. She had forgotten that he had asked for her name and she blushed a little.

"Hisana. Just Hisana."

He then smiled warmly at her. "Pleasure to meet you Hisana." He then held the yukata out to her again and she looked at it again.

She knew he was right, if someone were to come in and see her dressed like this she'd probably be whipped and sent back to where she came from, getting him in trouble as well as her. And she didn't want to do that. So she slowly reached out and gently takes them, accidentally brushing against his hand as she does so.
________________________________________________

He smiled slightly at her touch.

"Well, it is late, and I have duties to attend to tomorrow morning. So I will leave you for the night." He stood up. "I don't think it would be wise for you to go anywhere out of the grounds here without me. So please stay here. You are welcome to wonder around the mansion, or the grounds outside. But please don't leave until you are well again."

She looked at him carefully for a while, then lowered her head and said, "Alright."

He then smiled and said warmly, "Goodnight Lady Hisana."

He bowed slightly to her, and then walked out of the room and to his room down the hallway. When he reached  his room he changed to his sleepwear and climbed into his own shiki futon and lied there thinking what a beautiful name Hisana is to go with a beautiful woman, and really rather appropriate. He fell asleep thinking of her.
________________________________________________

After he left she looked at the yukata again and wondered at the intricacy of it and fingers the stitching of the roses and smiles. "This really is beautiful; I wonder where he got it." Not wanting to put it on now right before she went to sleep she set it to the side of the bed and started to cough. She tried to keep it down so he wouldn't worry about her.

She then realized how truly ill she was. How when taking care of her sister made her neglect herself and sent her down this road and probably wouldn't have survived after a few more days in the Inuzuri district. She smiled as a wave of gratitude washed over her for being seen by Byakuya-sama, then a sickening feeling in her stomach set in as she remembered that she had just left her sister in the street. "I don't deserve to call her my sister anymore."

She then curled up on the shiki futon as tears slowly and silently fell down her cheeks as she falls asleep.
Chapter 1: fav.me/d49lx0r
Chapter 3: fav.me/d4d6135
Chapter 4: fav.me/d4e1ny1
Chapter 5: fav.me/d4f3k7t
Conclusion: fav.me/d4gayqp


Some of the terms may be a little unfamiliar so here's the explanations.

Shihakusho: The standard black kimono uniform that shinigami wear

Shiki futon: A low rising bed that the mattresses could be folded and stored when not in use www.jlifeinternational.com/hou…

Shoji- Sliding and portable doors that are also made from paper and wood, usually bamboo

Zaisu chair- A legless chair that was was a comfortable alternative to kneeling on the floor www.jlifeinternational.com/Hom…

If you guys are think that I wrote Bleach, then you guys are pretty dang dumb. Or maybe I should think of it as a compliment that you think this is as good as that stuff. Anyways, the thing is, I don't own Bleach.

:iconcommentplz:

I accept
:llama:

I give llamas to the people who give me the llama that upgrades mine, so you might want to send it to me ;)

Also if you feel my work is worth more than just a llama I accept point donations. There's a donation pool on my profile.

I take commissions for both poetry and fanfics. So if you want me to do something for you, just drop me a line. My rules and the pricing are listed on my profile.

:iconpointcommishesclosed: :icontradesclosed2:

:iconreadcplz1::iconreadcplz2::iconreadcplz3:
© 2011 - 2024 TheSkandranon
Comments3
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
PumpkinQueen13's avatar
Despite not really knowing what has happened between Hisana and Byakuya before they got married, this story adequately explains what had happened.  

As I said in the previous chapter, this writing is fairly adequate.  This story's plot is moving along nicely and it seems to stick to canon since they are indeed a canon couple.

My critique on the previous chapter also applies to this and the other chapters.



I understand that your intentions was to make Byakuya a sort of gentleman towards Hisana considering circumstances, but shouldn't he be more concerned about getting into trouble with bringing a commoner back to the Kuchiki mansion? I already saw the part in which Byakuya did mention that he might get into trouble if they got caught, but it is the part after he leaves Hisana for the second time that my question is brought up.  From what I've read, bringing a commoner to the mansion is against Byakuya's late parents' set rules and regulations. 

But since this is a romance-centered fanfic, I suppose that him being concerned for Hisana because of his personality is plausible.


She thought to herself, "Rukia would love this."

When you have a character thinking, you should have the character's thoughts italicized to distinguish the thoughts and the dialogue.  To further distinguish, thoughts should also have single quotations.


Grammar

He then realized he hadn't introduce himself.


Remember about past tenses; "introduce" should be "introduced".

She knew he was right, if someone were to come in and see her dressed like this...

"were" should be "was".  

So she slowly reached out and gently takes them, accidentally brushing against his hand as she does so.

"takes" should be "took"; "does" should be "did".

"...You are welcome to wonder around the mansion, or the grounds outside..."

To "wonder" is to feel admiration and amazement.  To "wander" is to walk or move in a leisurely, casual, or aimless way.  In this case, the word "wander" should be placed instead of "wonder".

After he left she looked at the yukata again and wondered at the intricacy of it and fingers the stitching of the roses and smiles.

A comma should be placed between "left" and "she";  "fingers" should be "fingered"; "smiles" should be "smiled".

She then curled up on the shiki futon as tears slowly and silently fell down her cheeks as she falls asleep.

"falls" should be "fell"