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A New Beginning: Chapter 3

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Literature Text

Bleach Fanfic: ByaSana

He woke up at his usual time the next morning so he would be able to go on duty. He changed into his uniform, but before he left he wrote a short note on a small piece of paper. When he finished he quietly got up and went to the kitchen and got another bowl of broth for her, the soul named Hisana that he had taken from the Inuzuri district two nights before. He tried not to make a sound so as to not disturb her as he entered the room she was sleeping in. He noticed that she was still dressed in her dirty clothes, but even more surprising, she had tear streaks down her cheeks. He wondered what could sadden her so and couldn't resist lightly touching her cheek as if to wipe away the tears already shed hours before and ease her pain.

When she shifted slightly under his touch he gently pulled away so he did not wake her. He then set the note on top his mother's yukata and the bowl beside it then stood up. He looked at her tenderly for another few minutes, then quietly walked out the room and closed the door without a sound.
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When she woke up, light was shining in and a bird trilled its beautiful music before flying away. She was a little startled at first, but then remembered what happened the day before. She lied there for a little while to take it all in. A shinigami, a noble shinigami no less, had seen her and taken her to his home in the seireitei. She'd never had a home before. She rather envied him for that. He had said she could stay here till she was feeling well again. As if she needed a reminder about her being sick she started coughing again.

She sat up as she coughed and when she finished she noticed the bowl and the note on the beautiful yukata. She picked up the note and began to read it.

Hisana, I'm sorry to have to leave you alone, but my duties require me to be gone. Here is some more broth for you and I hope you may feel inclined to wear the yukata provided for you. Down the hall and to the right is a room for you to bathe and clean yourself. Just leave your current clothes there and I will arrange for them to be cleaned for you. Feel free to walk around the gardens as you wish, they really are quite beautiful this time of year.

Your Servant

Byakuya Kuchiki


She stared at the last part astounded. Her servant? How could she consider a noble her servant?

Not sure on how to think of that last statement she slowly sipped at the broth. It was a beef broth this time and she enjoyed the subtleties of the taste and how it played across her tongue then down to her stomach. When she finished, she carefully picked up the yukata and followed the directions to the bathing room.

Over the years she had acquired several cuts and bruises around her body, but mostly on her bare feet, hands, arms and face. Since she was more of the timid nature, she stayed in the shadows and kept out of the way of others who seemed to thrive in the kind of environment that was the Inuzuri district. Those were the kinds that were more angry and violent than her. They would not hesitate to take any kind of anger out on her since she wouldn't retaliate. So she had tried to keep out of everyone's way and just wandered from area to area never staying long with her sister. Even so, there was no way to avoid the dust and litter that was everywhere. So along with those cuts, they were also caked in dust and mud. And living in the shadows, when she didn't have a dark nature, wearied her soul, which caused her to become sick.

After a long warm bath she left her tattered clothes on a bench in there and proceeded to dress herself in the pink yukata.

Afterwards she decided she would like to see the gardens, as he suggested. She then went out and found a doorway that lead outside to begin to explore.

When she opened the door she is awestruck.  The grace and beauty of the trees in all their emerald glory of late spring left her breathless. To the front of her was a group of three stones that were so perfectly placed, they really looked like they naturally fell there. Careful to step on the stepping stones that were set in the chidori pattern with an occasional large stone, she took the first steps to into another world; a world of balance, of natural environments represented in the various placements of gravel, and sand.

As she walked deeper into the garden she found a koi pond. Several large kois swum in lazy, seemingly endless random formations. A small stream led into it from around a corner. Curious to see the beginning she followed the path leading in that direction. She found another small pond, this one devoid of fish, but with a stone lantern at the head of it, that was surrounded by white flowers on knee high stalks. She stared at those flowers for a long while, somehow drawn to them. She left the pathway and knelt beside them. She reached out and softly touched the gently curving petals. She didn't know enough about plants, having not been around many that were living, to know what the name of the beautiful flowers.

After looking at the delicately elegant flowers for a while, she returned to the path, knowing she shouldn't be off it, and continued to explore the other world that was within the grounds of the Kuchiki estate.
Eventually she found herself in front of a couple of cherry trees that were in full bloom of sakura blossoms. Another single pond sat under it with fallen flushed flowers floating in the still water. Also a few feet from it was a decorative, but comfortable bench which she went to and sat on. The wind began to blow slightly brushing her now soft charcoal colored hair across her face, and caused some sakura blossoms to float by her.
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It was a hard day for Byakuya Kuchiki today. He had to go out on a scouting mission today with others from his squad. Several of the hollows that appeared the others couldn't handle. So he had to take care of them, or let his team members get hurt, which would displease his grandfather, and weaken the squad.

He was glad he had something to look forward to when he arrived home. Hopefully Hisana will be up and walking around now.

With that thought he quickened his pace and arrived home shortly. He made his way to her room, and smiled when he didn't find her there. He quickly went out to the gardens hoping to find her there. He arrived at the cherry trees that his parents had each planted on their wedding day and discovered her on the bench they had sat together and watched the sunset together. He just stood there for a while staring at her.

She was even more beautiful since she was clean and her hair was and un-matted. Her bangs swayed with the breeze and he noticed a sakura blossom had fallen perfectly into her hair behind her ear, making her look almost rosy, instead of pale. And not only was she clean, but she also had on the yukata that he had given her. It looked wonderful on her.

After a couple minutes he came beside her and gently rested his hand on her shoulder. She must not have heard him come up because she jumped a little and gasped as she quickly turned toward him.

"I'm sorry," he removed his hand from her shoulder, "I didn't mean to startle you."

She smiled as she recognized him. "It's alright; I just wasn't expecting anyone right now."

"How are you feeling? Did you enjoy the gardens?"

"Oh yes, they are beautiful. I haven't seen anything like them before. And I am doing better now"

"I'm glad you like them." He came around and stood in front of her. "Anything in particular stand out to you?"

She smiled, "Yes actually."

"Would you show me?"

"Of course." She stood up and began to walk back around the mansion, and he walked with her. She walked to the top of the connecting ponds to the stone lantern located there.

"Those white flowers are the ones that I like the most."

He looks at them. "Ah, the white lilies. They do have a rare simple grace don't they?"

"Yes, they do."

"The white lily means purity, which makes it perfect for you. I sense in you an aura as pure as the light on the moon." He smiled at her.
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She stared up at him surprised. How could he think that about her? He didn't even know her for two whole days. Just what was she to him? Other than just a girl that he had picked up from the street. She really didn't know much about him either really. He was kind and considerate to her, but was he like that to everyone?

She saw him smile at her surprise. "The sakura blossoms are my favorites."

She regained her composure at the sound of his voice and smiled. "They are also beautiful. I haven't seen anything here that I didn't like. Everything is just quiet and peaceful here."

"Yes, it is. Well, dinner will be served shortly. My grandfather is being held up at the office so it'll just be us tonight."

"Alright then." She felt more comfortable that way actually. She didn't know what his grandfather would think of her and thought he might just throw her back without any mercy at all. And she knew she had to go back someday, but she didn't want to just yet. She wanted to know the man who had compassion on a girl from one of the last districts, and why he had.

"I need to change out of my shihakusho before I eat though. So you can come inside and wait for me there, or I can come back and get you out here if you want to stay in the garden."

"I'll come inside and wait for you."

He smiled and started walking inside, and she followed. Outside his room he said to her, "I'll just be a couple of minutes."

She nodded as he went inside his room to change. When he came out he was wearing a white robe over his clothes, signifying his nobility. She tried not to show it, but that robe disheartened her a little, but she wasn't sure why really. It was a visible testament of the difference between them. He was nobility, and she was from the 78th district, but why did that matter to her?
Chapter 1: fav.me/d49lx0r
Chapter 2: fav.me/d4bnsa3
Chapter 4: fav.me/d4e1ny1
Chapter 5: fav.me/d4f3k7t
Conclusion: fav.me/d4gayqp

The chapter was supposed to be longer, but it became too long so I'm going to have two chapters cover one day.

Hope you guys enjoy, I did a lot of research on Japanese gardens for this so it would fit well with Byakuya's mansion. The chidori pattern for stepping stones that was mentioned means that the stones were placed off set of each other, one for the left foot, and one for the right with an occasional large stone for standing and viewing on.

If you guys are think that I wrote Bleach, then you guys are pretty dang dumb. Or maybe I should think of it as a compliment that you think this is as good as that stuff. Anyways, the thing is, I don't own Bleach.

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PumpkinQueen13's avatar
Yes, Byakuya is quite the gentleman in this as is his personality as well as his status somehow being involved in this maybe.  As long as the plot doesn't stray and go on a tangent, you're fine.

I like how you described the gardens and its surroundings.  



He woke up at his usual time the next morning so he would be able to go on duty.

When exactly is Byakuya's "usual time" to wake up?  I assume it's dawn, but it isn't very clear how the sentence is presented.  From this point, it could either be dawn or mid-morning.



Grammar

When she opened the door, she is awestruck.

"is" should be "was"

It was a hard day for Byakuya Kuchiki today.

You do not have to write out Byakuya's full name.  If you had already introduced him by his full name in the first chapter, you do not have to do it again.

She was even more beautiful since she was clean and her hair was and un-matted.

"and" should not be before "un-matted" unless you were trying to place another adjective further describing Hisana's rejuvenated hair.

He looks at them.

"looks" should be "looked"

"...And I am doing better now"

In this and a few other quotes, you have forgotten to place some sort of punctuation after the last piece of dialogue.  In some instances you can place a comma, but only if the next word after the quotation is lowercase.  This particular error comes up in this and the previous chapter; I had forgotten to bring this up in the previous chapter, but it was too late when I commented.